when is my time?

i think about death almost everyday.thinking whether what we've done is enough to make it thru...thinking about doing good to people...thinking of when my time is...and how will i go...thinking whether by then i would have reached my goals, whether i died because of cancer or an accident or just in my sleep..thinking whether i managed to say things to the people that matters to me most..

will people feel the loss?
or will people only feel that one of their acquaintance have left them?

everyday i feel that i wished that i could get to know a person better so that they could get to know me aswell..

i went in the liang again today...a friend asked me.."oh must be your first time?" but nah, ive been there before couple of times to lay family members which had left early.close family members that is...and its terrifying to see where you're gonna end up one day.

that one day. God knows.

today Eddin's mom passed away. i got the call in the morning and went straight to his house. he used to be my classmate and we shared our fare share of friendship moments, and even if i dont hang as much with him as i used to, it feels that it was yesterday that we lepaked. and to lose a mother is a big thing. i cant imagine, honestly. sometimes i pray to God not to see that day and take me first instead. but this is all in His hands and plans. I feel sad that most of our friends didnt go. its either they dont know or they have other plans on today. but its good to see friends at your side. yeah, when my cousin passed away, i wanted a friend to come and eventho i know that ill be busy that day and dont have time to talk or anything, but its calming to see that you have friends that you can fall back on. but she didnt. but its ok. i cant be expecting the world kan.

again, i would like to express my condolences to Eddin and his famiy for their loss.

Al fatihah for his mom.